Keluarga

Masa Bertarung Nyawa Dlm Labour Room. Suami Ada Pegang Beg Duit Aku. Bila Perasan Kad Bank Hilang. Aku Nekad Dgn Luka Berjahit Pergi Bank, Terduduk Terus Aku

by fairuz
B4 Content

Gambar sekadar hiasan. Terima kasih kerana membaca artikel kami ini. Mohon kongsi jika bermanafaat dan mohon maaf jika ada tersilap dan salah. Assalamualaikum, aku berharap, confession aku dapat berikan pengajaran untuk orang yang betul2 nak pilih pasangan hidup.

Aku berumur pertengahan 20an, seorang bekerjaya, seorang isteri kepada dua anak. Dan insyaa Allah, bakal anak ketiga yang di lahirkan tak lama lagi. Tujuan aku tulis di sini, untuk mintak pandangan dan semangat dari kalian semua, dan haruslah untuk yang memilih pasangan yang sebelum kawin nya nampak macam baik lepas kawin baru nampak ‘true colour’.

Paragraf 2

Hampir 5 tahun aku berumahtangga, dan suami aku juga seorang yang bekerjaya, ada kerja tetap sama seperti aku. Awal perkahwinan lagi, rupanya aku telah di tipu, dan berikan peluang. Ya aku naif pasal judi, dulu judi tekan2, mesin orang kata, sekarang dah berapa tahun dah maju, online merata di mana mana.

Pada awal perkahwinan aku PJJ dengan suami sampai anak sulung aku lahir. baru aku dapat bertukar dimana suami aku bertugas sekarang, nama pun PJJ kan. So setiap gerak geri suami aku, aku tak pernah tau bila dia jauh dari aku. Masa cuti panjang dia ada di rumah keluarga dia, aku berulang alik ke tempat kerja sebab kami sama2 berasal di negeri yang sama.

Cuma nya suami aku bertugas di negeri lain. Duit kereta yang biasa aku transfer ke akaun lagi satu untuk ‘auto debit’, tiba2 hilang, dan aku sangat terkejut bila check status online, aku ada buat pengeluaran duit, pukul 4 pagi, dan aku fikir sc4mmer, jumlah agak banyak.

Dan aku call bank, tanya di mana pengeluaran tu di buat, rupanya, di kawasan daerah di mana mertua aku tinggal, dan aku sangat sedih, untuk pertama kali, suami ambil duit aku, masa tu aku masih taktau suami aku
buat apa dengan duit tu, lama kelamaan, bila aku check fon, rupanya, dia ada main judi. Luluh hati aku, duit tu macam2 boleh buat, tapi tak sangka, tergamak dia buat aku macam tu.

Setiap kali aku nak jumpa suami, aku yang keluarkan modal untuk pergi ke negeri dia bekerja, bila dia takde duit, aku sentiasa tolong sebab tak sampai hati, even aku dapat rasa duit gaji dia habis ke mana. Fast foward, masa aku baru lahirkan anak sulung, benda yang sama jadi, dia curi duit anak yang orang bagi, terlalu banyak, aku rasa teraniaya sangat.

Sebab aku dalam pantang. Masa tu aku dah tak percaya dah apa yang dia buat, gerak geri dia, aku halau dia terus dari rumah mak aku masa tu jugak.. tapi fikirkan anak, aku lembutkan hati bagi dia peluang.. Lepas tu permohonan pertukaran aku diluluskan, aku mohon tukar atas sebab faktor kewangan jugak, sebab banyak aku kena tanggung sendiri tanpa di beri nafkah.

Bila aku dah duduk bersama, silap aku juga, tak merancang.. aku mengandung untuk kali kedua, masa tu bukan kata str3ss, aku menangis semahunya.. tapi aku kena terima sebab salah aku.. Dan bermulalah episod suami aku kant0i banyak kali berjudi, curi duit tabung aku.. curi duit dalam bank aku, yang paling aku terkilan sekali, masa aku pantang anak kedua, sejarah tu berulang lagi.

tengah aku bert4rung ny4wa dalam l4bour room.. Suami aku pegang beg duit, silap aku juga tak belajar dari kesilapan, duit aku 2k lebih, simpanan untuk anak aku bersalin, habis macam tu je. macam mana aku tau? sebab balik dari hospital, aku mintak beg duit, bila dia bagi semula first aku cari adalah kad bank yang ada nilai duit aku tu.

Tapi kad tu takde. Masa tu aku dah mula meng4muk, siapa je tak meng4muk, sedangkan aku masih ingat semua barang2 aku dalam beg tu.. Aku nekad dengan luka berjahit, pergi bank. Mintak penyata akaun, alangkah terkejut, masa aku kat hospital semua duit aku habis macam tu je, dan aku terjumpa kad bank aku semula, dekat poket belakang seat pemandu.

Allah masa tu dengan keadaan aku, aku lari
rumah tengah malam.. jalan kaki.. dan aku sangat2 tr4uma dan nak bvnvh diri.. Lepastu aku disahkan MDD, Major Deppr3sive Dis0rder oleh dokter ps1ki4tri.. suami, mintak maaf nangis2, bagi dia peluang untuk berubah..
dan aku pun bagi.Masa tu aku nekad bagitau akak2 ipar aku, supaya dia lebih takut untuk buat hal yang sama.. dan kalau boleh aku nak mintak berpisah.

Sebab selama aku kawin, semua aku tanggung sendiri.. sampai keperluan anak2, a-z aku yang keluarkan duit, sampai aku kerap overlap loan.. Sebab gaji aku makin lama makin kecik, dan sampai loan aku maksimum, dan sekarang aku terasa menyesal sangat, sebab aku terlalu bagi muka.. bila aku adukan pada kakak2 ipar aku, dorang suruh aku bersabar, fikir anak2..

Ye dan seharusnya dia back up adik dia, aku ni siapa bagi mereka untuk dengar derita aku.. dan aku ambil perancang.. tapi dan tak terjangka.. aku mengandungkan anak ketiga pada usia anak kedua aku baru 6 bulan. Mungkin salah aku salah cara makan ubat, masa tu Allah je tahu, dengan keadaan aku yang d3pr3ssi, aku nak gugurkan kandungan ni..

Tapi aku siapa yang nak hukum anak dalam kandungan ni. Dan ternyata, suami aku tetap tak berubah.. dan masih berjudi.. aku pernah baca, orang yang berjudi ni, dia berubah kejap je.. Aku dah pernah simpan bukti, screen shoot, aku snap gambar, tapi aku
taktau macam mana, bukti2 tu suami aku boleh padamkan kat fon aku, sedangkan aku tukar password, password online banking, password kad atm, semua aku tukar.

Aku tr4uma, dan aku takut sangat untuk percaya.. aku ada mintak cerrai tapi dia tak nak cerraikan aku.. suami aku takde masalah lain, dia bukan seorang yang pan4s b4ran, kerja rumah, anak2, dia uruskan.. yang satu
masalah je dia ada, judi. Tapi sampai bila aku nak kena hadap.. sebab setiap bulan aku yang kena. cari duit, kadang sampai kejap2 pajak gelang emas untuk sara keluarga.

kadang sampai berhutang dengan kawan2.. tapi gaji dia langsung tak. nampak bayang.. lebih pentingkan judi dari keluarga sendiri. Dan akibatnya, aku sendiri tak mampu tanggung diri aku dengan gaji yang kecil.. baru2 ni aku bergaduh teruk, dan aku cakap aku penat, dan aku tak tahan nak hidup macam ni, dan aku mintak cerrai, nak naik mahkmah, dia suruh aku pergi. Means dia taknak cerraikan aku melainkan aku yang failkan cerrai, kadang.

Aku terfikir, aku ni ada untuk dia untuk tampung kesusahan dia, sebab. selama ni aku yang tanggung keluarga, dan aku yang fikirkan keperluan anak2.. Kadang aku taktau siapa aku ni mata dia.. lagi aku bagi peluang, lagi aku di pijak2.. doakan aku, untuk aku terus kuat failkan cerrai, aku tak
boleh nak failkan sekarang atas faktor aku mengandung. Hampir 5 tahun ni dia tak pernah berubah..

kalau aku bagi peluang lagi belum tentu dia berubah.. doakan aku kuat, aku dah cukup tertekan mengandungkan yang ketiga ni, macam2 aku fikir, aku tr4uma kisah lalu.. Kadang2 aku menangis tiba2.. macam2 yang aku teringat2.. ps1ki4tri hari2 call aku untuk tau khabar aku, sebab takut aku bvnvh diri or meroyan.. sebab aku tunggu hari untuk bersalin.. doakan aku kuat, dan doakan suami
aku berubah even bukan hidup dengan aku.

Iya bab solat.. dulu suami aku kisah, kalau tengok aku solat, dia malu untuk tak solat. Tapi sekarang ni, bila aku solat, dia macam takda perasaan untuk solat. Bukan kata aku tak pernah nasihat, tapi aku dah penat nak luahkan macam2 dekat dia. Nasihat macam2.. tapi aku rasa ibarat macam cakap dengan lalang, aku cuma mampu berdoa agar dia berubah..

Bila terpandang anak aku, aku kadang terfikir, anaj aku akan mewarisi sifat ayah dia atau tak, memandangkan anak sulung aku seorang lelaki.. Mintak dijauhkan lah. nauzubillahminzalik.. dan aku harap, yang ada pasangan kat luar sana.. kalau pasangan tu awal2 lagi memang kaki judi, hisp ddah.. jauhkan la dari jadikan mereka ni suami, mungkin ada suami yang berubah.

Tapi kes aku ni, aku tak nampak mana yang boleh ubahkan keluarga aku, melainkan melepaskan diri aku dari hidup keluarga t0ksik macam ni.. Maaf ayat berterabur.. sebab aku taktau macam mana nak cerita sebab
ceritanya agak panjang, kalau aku bercerita lebih terperinci, nanti akan buatkan bosan untuk orang baca.. Semoga aku kuat untuk terus melangkah, tapi menoleh kebelakang semula.

Aku pun tak pernah kisah kalau bersalin kali ni tanpa di bantu suami, sebab pernah je aku drive sendiri even jahitan aku masih segar
disebabkan peristiwa tu.. Aku masih ada family untuk support, even family aku sendiri pun tak pernah tau kisah dan a1b suami aku, yang aku masih simpan sampai
sekarang.. kecuali kakak2 ipar aku, yang selalu pandang sinis.. dan setiap kali tu la, kata2 perli akan aku terima.

Contoh nya, “lepasni merancang betul2, jangan cakap pakai mulut je taknak ngandung lagi” aku terkilan sangat, sedangkan selama adik dia buat macam2 kat aku, aku lah yang kena tanggung semua.. Even kereta, motor pun atas nama aku.. barang2 rumah 90% semua hasil dari duit aku sendiri.. kalau aku tinggalkan adik dia.. adik dia satu ape pun takde.

Mungkin masa tu akak2 dia akan sedar yang selama ni aku banyak bek0rban untuk adik dia sampai aku sendiri s4kit.. aku ni siapa, tetap orang luar bagi mereka.. dan aku harap, keputusan aku kali ni adalah tepat.
– Wina (Bukan nama sebenar)

Reaksi warganet

Memhidayah jamain – Berbaloi ke pendam perasaan smpai x waras semata2 utk lelaki yg mau ada sis disisi…just utk ada org jaga mkn minum dia?? Came on sis….. Lari la dr masalah. Jgn lupa ucap thanks sebab beri sis anak2. Kecekalan yg sis ada ni…patutnya utk membesarkan dan membahagiakan anak2. Sis kuat…u knew it.. sis boleh hidup tanpa dia… Smpai bila nak jadi bank suami kaki judi? Kita tengok….kakak2 yg sruh sbar tu….agak2? Depa tahan tak??

Cik puan comel – Macamnila.. lelaki ni senang je nak bagi pmpuan syg kat dia.. CINTA. Bagi perempuan rasa di sygi.. and perempuan akan bagi semua yg dia ada kat lelaki tu. Macam awak cakap la laki awak baik je semua kan cuma dia BERJUDI JE. SO AWAK NAK TELAN BAB JUDI DAN DUIT TU SEBAB LAKI AWAK BAIK. KIRA DIA SAYANG AWAKLA TU YG AWAK PIKIR.

Jadi.. kat sini lah point laki awak gunakan awak. Memang xla dia nak cerraikan BINI YG BERDUIT. SAMPAI KIAMAT PUN XKAN. Memang perempuan ada setengah kalau syg syg sgt.. tp merosakkan diri sendiri. Nah diri sendiri pun da dapat MDD. LAKI CAMTU NAK SIMPAN LAGI? Peluang ni untuk kesalahan pertama je kalau kedua ketiga tu buta hati dah namanya.

Rezaly said – Allahuakbar sis berpinar mata dan sakit kepala baca perkongsian sis ni, saya hanya mampu mendoakan semoga Allah bagi sis kekuatan dan ketabahan untuk melalui fasa getir ni. Kuat kan hati dan semangat demi anak2 yer. soal bercerrai tu klu sis rasa itu yg terbaik teruskan lah krn kita perlu memikirkan hati dan perasaan kita demi anak2 dan masa dpn.

Terus melangkah ke hadapan krn perjalanan kehidupan sis masih panjang.Ya Allah semoga dia di beri kekuatan dan ketabahan yg luar biasa,pulih kan dia dari tekanan dan dipermudahkan segala urusan nye aamiin.

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