Assalamualaikum wbt. Terlebih dahulu. Jika artikal ni disiarkan banyak terima kasih aku ucapkan. Saat aku tulis benda ni dah 12 hari aku tak dapat contact laki aku. Kali ni bukan sbb line takde kat platform tapi sebab dia memang hilang.
Sebelum aku cerita lebih lanjut pasal macam mana semua boleh jadi mcm tu izinkan aku bukan pekung di dada aku untuk pengajaran semua yang sedang berhubungan dengan offshore. Tapi aku ingatkan hanya segelintir offshore sahaja beperangai malaun macam laki aku bukan semua.
Kami kenal tak lama dia kawan lama aku, lepas 9 tahun baru aku jumpa dia balik melalui facebook time tu aku tengah frust juga la. Dia aku malas nak siasat , tapi kami kamceng betul dalam 7 bulan. Walaupun jarak kiteorang jauh tapi hati tetap bersatu. Aku sabar je mesej dengan dia melalui watsup memang rasa sehati sejiwa betul. Aku tak suka lelaki sweet , aku suka lelaki biasa yg boleh buat aku gelak dan cool je. Alhamdulilah time tu aku jumpa orangnya suami aku.
Lepas kenal 3 bulan aku ajak datang rumah jumpa family, Alhamdulilah lagi smgt dia datang aku ingat lagi masa tu hari raya korban. Bawa lah daging korban dia datang. At first time tu la aku tengok dia lepas 9 tahun dia x hemsem pun gelap je, tapi entah kenapa aku fall in love kat dia. Lepas tu kami tunang hujung tahun tu dan kahwin bulan 3.
Memang ok mula2, dia janji nak jaga aku baik-baik..memang aku rasa bahagia sangat macam di syurga . Alhamdulilah..dia kal aku bila dia duk kat platform, cakap rindu bagai..faham perasaan aku macam mana rindu semua. First and last dia kal ak time kat platform. Lepas tu bulan 5 plak kami jumpa , aku celebrate bday dkt satu resort ni, happy sgt ni honeymoon pertama kiteorg dan aku rasa last kegembiraan aku dengan dia sebelum macam-macam hal jadi.
Korang mesti nak tahu apa jadikan, pertama dia x penah kal aku walau sepatah pun kalau aku kat sarawak dan dia di sana. Dia cakap dia x suka cakap fon. Kedua, dia x pernah bawak aku pergi pasar malam atau mall sbb takde benda nk beli. Ketiga, aku pernah naik teksi dari airport ke rumah dia sbb dia x jemput p kenduri kawan dia. Keempat,aku kena minta izin untuk peluk dia ,sebab dia x suka dipeluk panas katanya.
Kelima, dia dah x panggil aku sayang dan bahasakan dia abang dalam msj. Keenam,dia x pernah tidur rumah family aku. Ketujuh,dia x pernah datang melawat aku di sarawak walau dah hampir 2 tahun aku kahwin. Kelapan,kami x pernah kuar makan sama-sama kat kedai makan sbb dia x minat makan kat luar. Kesembilan, dia kalau kat darat sibuk menjual sana sini balik pkul 4-5 pagi
Dan macam-macam lagi, aku malas nak cerita bab bilik tidur aku… nanti kang ada yang nangis. Ni hasil aku dapat lepas hampir 2 tahun kahwin, perkahwinan yang aku harap sampai syurga akhirnya menjadi neraka dunia untuk aku.
Korang tahu tak skrg dia hilang, aku x pernah terfikir yg Allah atur sglanya untuk tunjuk kat aku. Aku cuma dapat tahu,dia tiada di platform dan balik darat tapi sepatah pun aku x dpt msj dan panggilan dari dia. Aku kal ofis dia,tanya maybe dia masuk ofis sbb last aku jumpa dia bulan 8, so bulan 9 dan 10 dia kata dia masuk ofis..ofis kata for sure dia tak ada pun masuk ofis. So aku diperbodohkan oleh laki offshore yang ingat aku yang tak tahu apa2 pasal dunia laut tu.. macam-macam lah hal nyer..
Sekarang ni, aku just redha dah. Aku dah p pejabat agama aku fikir hidup aku tak boleh dimusnahkan oleh tsunami offshore. Aku mengaku aku sayang dia sangat. Tapi tu dulu, skrg aku tak boleh hidup dengan dialagi. Aku syak dia bersama perempuan lain wallahualam aku pun tak pasti. Aku tak tahu nak gambarkan betapa kecewanya aku dengan laki offshore tu..memang aku betul-betul tak tahu mana dia skrg sbb tgk schedule dalam hjg minggu ni dia naik platform balik …so aku just tunggu lagi macam perempuan lindungan kaabah ,tunggu dia contact aku macam selalu.
Aku tulis benda ni bukan nak suruh korang tolong cari laki aku, tak payah. Tiba masa dia akan muncul tu. Tapi aku cuma nak ingatkan hati-hati dengan offshore man ni serius aku pun x faham apa lagi yang dorang nak .aku tak kata aku baik tapi aku berani bagi jaminan aku setia je kat sini walau aku ada kerjaya dan rupa berbanding dia.
Tolong la ea, pikir dulu before nk hidup dengan offshore ni,dorang banyak duit nak perempuan macam 7e je, masuk lepas tu chow. Fikir betul-betul , buat istikarah dan musyawarah pikir lebih 100 kali biar Allah tunjuk jalan lurus. Aku sekarang ni dah fikir abes dah, memang aku x leh go on dah dengan mamat offshore ni aku kena move on sblm aku diperbodohkan lagi sekali. Orang kalau dah tipu sekali, for sure akan tipu lagi..
Jadi perempuan nI, kena kuat mental , emosi dan segalanya. Aku sedih sangat tapi aku terpaksa pergi aku yakin dia tak sayang aku,tiada orang syg someone tapi buat macam dia buat kat aku. Kepala otak aku pun nak pecah dah pkir pasal kiteorang. Aku nak stop dah. Semuanya.
Doakan eh korang. Allah mudahkan semua yang sulit dalam hidup aku. Aku buntu tapi aku yakin Allah Maha Penyayang, dia sayang giler aku. So aku skrg nI kena kuat banding smlm. Doakan ea
– BakalJ
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