gajinya sikit dalam RM1,800. Okaylah, itu rezekinya. Selama saya berkahwin dengan dia, saya bekerja dan serba serbi menanggung keluarga.
Anyway, pendapatan saya tiga kali ganda dari gaji Soami. Kenapa tak marah Soami kahwin lain. Sebab saya sudah malas nak bergduh dengan dia. Saya biarkan saja dia berkahwin lagi sebab mereka pun sudah terlnjur sampai madu saya itu mengandung.
Madu saya itu tak berkerja.Okay, selepas itu saya tak ambil tahu lagi tentang mereka. Bila suami balik ke rumah, saya layan saja seperti biasa.
Tak lama kemudian, madu mesej saya cakap Soami tak berikan dia nafkah duit, susu anak dan dia menumpang di rumah kakaknya.
Dia juga menuduh saya yang menghabiskan duit Soami Infact, saya yang banyak bagi pinjam duit pada Soami , pada anak-anak pula.
Saya ada rumah, kereta sendiri dan anak-anak dimewahkan oleh saya, bawa melancong ke luar negara dan bagai
Jadi saya balas,“Soami pun tak beri nafkah pada saya, saya redha sebab suami tak banyak duit pun. Kenapa perlu tuduh saya bukan-bukan.
Nikmat 10 minit je. Nah rasakan, tanggung lah dosa sebab tak bagi nafkah.“Dulu awak patut fikir, kalau nak ‘ambil’ suami orang, tengoklah kemampuannya.
Sekarang nak makan hati pula,” kata saya pada madu saya itu.Nasihat saya kepada adik-adik yang bercinta dengan suami orang, tengoklah kemampuan dia dahulu.
Suami saya sekarang tengah pening kepala, tetapi saya langsung tidak mahu membantunya.
Memang fitrah seseorang wanita inginkan dirinya disayangi secara istimewa dan tidak suka berkongsi apa lagi kalau dapat tahu suami kahwin dua.
Berkongsi ertinya tidak istimewa. Namun sekiranya berlaku, perlu ditangani secara bijak dengan hikmah supaya saling menguntungkan antara satu sama lain.
Andainya belum bermadu, kita boleh mencipta diri kita yang mampu memenuhi kebahagiaan suami kita dan ini mampu mengelakkan ruang hasrat suami untuk menambah isteri baru.
Kalau telah berlaku dan kita bermadu, jangan habiskan banyak masa untuk bergduh dan memburuk-burukkan madu kita agar suami kita membencinya dan menyayangi kita.
Memburukkan orang lain tidak akan menjadikan kita baik, tetapi kita perlu berubah melakukan kebaikan kepada orang lain.
Sebaiknya didik hati menerima fitrah ciptaan Allah SWT bahawa setiap kita ada kelebihan dan kekurangan masing-masing.
Ada kelebihan pada diri madu kita yang boleh membahagiakan suami kita, malah juga ada kelebihan yang boleh dipergunakan untuk kegembiraan kita.
Saling bahagiakan, insya-Allah bahagia yang dirasai mudah dikongsi untuk kita juga merasa bahagia.
Sesekali terasa hati, itu adalah perkara biasa tetapi cepat-cepat merawat hati dengan kefahaman kita tadi.
Namun dalam situasi berpoligami, suami perlu pegang beberapa perkara ini…
1. Pertamanya, betulkan di hati bahawa tanggungjawabnya berganda berbanding suami beristeri satu.
2. Perkara paling penting, pastikan berlaku adil terutamanya pada keperluan berbentuk fizikal dan material.
3. Masa lebih terhad berbanding beristeri satu. Uruskan masa sebaiknya untuk keluarga berganda dan makin kurang untuk bersama kawan-kawan mahu pun bersendirian.
4. Sedia berkorban dan kurangkan kepentingan diri kerana banyak hati yang perlu dijaga dan mudah terasa.
5. Elakkan sama sekali daripada membanding-bandingkan kelebihan mana-mana isteri atau pun menyebut kelemahan isteri tertentu. Hargai kelebihan masing-masing.
6. Perlulah semakin dekat dengan Allah untuk sokongan kekuatan menjaga dan mendidik dua orang isteri dan lebih ramai anak-anak.
Memang fitrah seseorang wanita inginkan dirinya disayangi secara istimewa dan tidak berkongsi. Berkongsi ertinya tidak istimewa.
Namun sekiranya berlaku, perlu ditangani secara bijak dengan hikmah supaya saling menguntungkan antara satu sama lain.
Haa…. harap encik suami boleh berlaku adil dan bertindak seperti nota di atas. Ingat ya, kalau tak adil… par4h jadinya Hil4ng terus rasa madunya
KISAH KE 2. Assalamualaikum min tlg hide kan nama saya, saya ingin post kan pertanyaan saya ni ke krt sayabmau tengok jawapan kepada soalan saya.ni..
saya kenal seorang lelaki, selalu keluar sama2 beramai2 dengan jiran2 dia, adik kandung dia, adik angkat dia lelaki perempuan kami selalu karoke, hiking dan buat aktiviti bersama ramai2.. tanpa ada declare apa2..
sejak pertemuan kami tu kami pun bercinta..selepas setahun min baru sy dapat tau dia ada anak bini..itupun sy dpt tau sendiri dan bini dia mesej saya..
bayangka min hampir stiap hari kami keluar bersama selama setahun baru saya dapat tahu..adik dia jiran2 dia semua sepakat tak bagi tau, saya d tipu bulat2,
apa yg membuat saya percaya dia single dia pernah berjanji degan ibu saya untuk mengahwini saya..seldpas saya dapat tau dia ada anak bini dia,dia merayu untuk saya tidak tingglkan dia..
memang pada awal nya dia hanya main2 tapi dia sudah betul2 cintakan saya,dia bawak saya jumpa bapa dia..bapa dia restu saja kami kerana itu urusan anak dia..
alasan bf saya dia sudah tak ada hati dengan isteri dia yang sudah bersama 10 tahun bersama dan janji akan mencer4ikn bini dia..
dia terus memujuk saya sehinggala bini dia mesej saya yang mengatakan dia sggup bermadu asalkn suami nya adil sebab dia paham sy menjadi mngsa penipuan..
dan stahun bg sy bukan masa yg singkat..hati sy sepenuhnya dgn dia..sy tolak pinangan org lain sbb cinta sy dgn dia min..
ibu bape sy tau dan mereka suruh sy tgglkan bf sy tu min..tp dgn desakan bf sy,kami nikah diwalikan adik kandung sy,
sy hanya mberitahu ibubapa melalui hp sebab mereka jauh negeri dari tempat saya tinggal,ibubapa saya kecewa smpai sekarang mereka meminta saya kembali ke pangkuan mereka(mereka xtau sy sda mengandung)
isteri dia pernah suruh sy tgglkan suami,sbb dia tidak berlaku adil ataupun suruh suami sy mencer4ikn dia,tp suami sy alasan kesian anak2,apatah lg kedua2 anak perempuan..
setelah Kami bernikah sy di sahkan mengandung,sejak itu suami sy skrg suda berubah suda mulai solat, takut akan kematian,mulai belajar mengaji kerana dia suda lupa..
mgkn tuhan beri hidayah sejak adanya anak yang ada dalam rahim saya min..tapi hati manusia Allah yg pegang min..
dia cuba berlaku adil,bila turn suami d sna sy selalu sendiri d rumah dgn emosi yg tidak menentu..
Sekarang saya betul betul rasa pahit nya bermadu kerana walaupun kadang kadang turn suami di sini dia selalu melebih kan sehari..
sy tahu dia cintakan sy,dan x mencer4ikan isteri nya demi anak dan mgkn juga nasihat kluarga..
sy tau madu dgn suami selalu begduh sy terbaca ws mereka,malah sblm kemunculan sy pun mereka pernah becer4i tp demi anak dan kluarga mereka kembali bersama tp tetap jgk selalu begduh..
mgkn sbb itu la suami beralih arah dgn sy..tp jauh d sudut hati sy tidak ingin menjadi perampas suami org,sumpah min klu di awal perkenalan sy dpt tau dia suami org..
sy suda menjauhkn diri dari dia..dan skrg sda tlmbat kami sda nikah dan bakal ada anak(mudah2an anak sulung sy ni sihat)
sy mntak dilepaskan stelah anak sy lahir..dia bejanji tidak akan lepaskn saya..dan perasaan sy skrg sy merindui kluarga sy..setelah ini lahir sy ingin kembali ke pngkuan kluarga..
suami dan madu selalu gduh bahagia ataupun tidak bukan urusan sy..suami blh cari lg,anak sdri yg sy impikn dari dulu tak kan pernah teganti bgtu jg dgn ibubapa sy..
apa yg patut sy buat min..sy tidak bahagia bermadu,sy mengandung anak sulung sy sedih bila sy sendiri d rumah tanpa teman..
mgkn itu la jgk perasaan madu sy bila turn suami d sni anak saja yg mnjadi peneman dan kebahagiaan madu d sna..tp dia hidup bejiran dgn ahli kluarga suami sedangkan sy sendri berjiran kan kawan2..
sejahil2 sy pun..sy tidak mau desak dia cer4ikan madu sy..sy rela undur diri lepas sy melahirkan anak..mudah2an itu lah kebahagiaan sebenar sy..
ANAK.Skrg Sy bepikir sy akan kembali kepangkuan kluarga..setelah anak sy lahir,klu betul la dia jodoh sy dan dia takdir sy,
dia akan datang menjemput kami anak branak dan meminta maaf kepada ibubapa sy..kami dulu tidak balik nikah besar2an sprti adik beradik lain sbb x ckup duit min..
sbb dia bnyk komitmen..bedosa ka sy..jika sy balik ke pangkuan kluarga dan mendesak dia cer4ikn sy demi kebahagiaan masing2..
wlupun jauh d sudut hati sy inginkan dia la suami dunia akhirat sy..sy pernah mesej madu meminta maaf tp dia dah xpernah bls..
itula mesej sy yg terakhir..mgkn dia pun tidak bahagia hidup bemadu apalg suami yg berat sebelah..
kalau masa boleh diputarkan kembali..sy ingin move on sblm nikah..tp sejak mengandung ni,
sy bepikir ingin btl2 move 0n kerana sy tau anak ini la akan jadi kebahagiaan sy..soal cinta dan syg sy kenangan dgn suami sy serahkan hati ini dgn Allah..
kerana anak ini akan jadi belahan jiwa saya..teman hidup sy..ramadhan pertama temujanji sy checkup cinta hati dlm perut sy..
mudah2an dia sihat min sbb sy ada peny4kit lain..ada ketulan dlm faraj sy dan sy masih dalam proses membuang ketulan itu sblm anak sy lahir..
ini smua kifarah yg sy harus terima..mudah2a Allah ampunkan dosa2 sy..dan smpat mnjadi seorg ibu serta betaubat atas smua kekhilafan sy..
maaf min panjang2 taip sbb sy xda tmpat mau luahkan..ini aib sy,hanya kluarga kecil sy saja tau..berbalik kepada pertanyaan sy min berdosa ka sy tgglkan suami dan menuntut cer4i selepas melahirkan anak.
Sumber IIUM
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