Baca perlahan-lahan dan ambillah Pengajaran apa yg pernah berlaku kepada saya ini. Jadikan ini sebagai panduan.
Foto sekadar hiasan.
Assalammualaikum pembaca. Saya berumur 35 tahun berasal dari Selangor. Sudah berkahwin selama 5 tahun. Saya ingin memberi nasihat dan inginkan nasihat dari kalian semua
Mengapa tajuk kali ini macam ni. Saya betul betul tertekan dengan sikap isteri saya.Saya berasa menyesal kerana memanjakan isteri.
Isteri saya muda dua tahun dari saya. Kami berkahwin atas dasar suka sama suka. Saya yang melamarnya selepas habis belajar dulu.
Saya sebelum berumah tangga, saya selalu membaca KRT dan dengar kuliah agma tentang tanggungjawab suami.
Saya memang catit satu satu kesilapan suami yang ditulis dalam itu dan belajar daripadanya.
Tetapi apa yang dipraktikkan semuanya seperti ‘backfired’ dan saya teramat penat.
Contohnya, kami dua dua bekerja dalam unit beruniform.
Sekarang dalam urusan rumah tangga. Sayalah yang selalu buat semuanya
1. Memasak
Sayalah yang selalu masak (termasuk sediakan bekal untuk pagi dan tengah hari – sebab isteri tak suka makan di luar takut tidak bersih).
Saya akan bangun seawal 5 pagi untuk siapkan makanan bekal untuk dia. Saya memang belajar memasak sebelum kawin kerana niat nak kurangkan kerja bakal isteri di rumah.
Lepas kerja balik pun saya yang siapkan.Saya yang hidangkan atas meja makan dan saya jugak yang mengemas selepas makan.
Saya buat semua tu atas rasa sayang kepada isteri, tetapi sampai 5 tahun ni, disebabkan saya selalu manjakan isteri, isteri sampai tak tahu masak apa apa.
Even maggi pun dia mintak saya buatkan kerana dia takut minyak panas. Dah beberapa kali saya cuba mengajar, tapi dia marah. Katanya memasak tu tanggung jawab suami, bukannya isteri. Hmm
Dia akan bukak vdeo yutube ceramah kuat kuat yang sediakan makanan adalah tanggungjawab suami bukan isteri.
2. Mengemas
Hujung minggu selalunya dia akan tidur. Saya yamg akan mengemas selalunya. Mop,sapu sampah, vakuum dan sebagainya.
Kalau hujung minggu tu saya terpaksa kerja, memang berseleraklah rumah tu. Kalau rumah bersepah, dia akan marah marah. Dia cakap tak tenang duduk di rumah kerana rumah bersepah.
Dia cakap mengemas ni tanggungjawab suami. Sekali lagi, video yang sama akan dimainkannya kalau saya bergduh dengannya tentang rumah berselerak. Gaji saya tidak cukup untuk mengupah orang gaji atau pekerja pembersihan
3. Pakaian
Semua baju baju dalam rumah kami saya yang basuh. Dia cakap itu tanggungjawab suami.Dia sampai tidak tahu guna masin basuh baju, kerana dari dulu ibunya yang buatkan semuanya.
4. Tidur
Sebelum tidur pun saya kena kemaskan katil, kalau tak habislah saya dimarahinya. Dia akan marah marah kalau cadar tidak tegang. Terus merajuk tak nak tidur sekali.
5. Hubungan suami – isteri
Kami jarang sekali ‘bersama’. Awal awal perkahwinan dulu sahaja yang kerap. Sekarang ni lebih kurang sekali dalam 3 bulan.
Ini kerana isteri saya tidak suka. Katanya perbuatan itu merimaskan dia.Saya dah cuba nasihat yang saya ni manusia, ada nfsu.
Dan jalan yang baik melepaskan nfsu adalah ‘bersama’ isteri. Bila saya ingatkan tanggungjawab isteri, dia akan bagi tapi dalam keadaan tidak rela. Dan selalunya dia nak ‘cepat habiskan’.
Selalunya selepas ‘bersama’ saya mesti dimarahinya. Katanya saya tidak memahaminya yang tidak suka perbuatan tu. Jadi semenjak itu saya selalu memendamkan nfsu saya.
Saya selalu menasihatinya. Bercakap dengan lembut. Saya selalu mengajaknya mengaji setiap hari. Tetapi dia masih bersifat sedemikian.
Dia akan mengagung agungkan ustazz ustazz yang berbuat baik pada isteri. Dia ada cakap, kalau tak suka cara dia saya boleh angkat kaki dan cari isteri lain. Saya selalu bergduh dengannya.
Saya memang sukakan dia seorang. Dialah first crush saya dari sekolah rendah.
Tolong ajarkan saya macam mana saya boleh hadapi ujian Allah ni.
Reaksi Warganet
Orked Lee –Maaf la nak cakap, isteri awak ni ibu segala pemalas ni. Rasanya ramai lagi dekat luar yang suami manjakan isteri.
Tapi isteri tu kalau jenis dia rajin dia sendiri akan buat kerja rumah contoh pasal rumah sepah.
Kalau jenis pembersih dia sendiri yang akan kemas dan bersihkan rumah. Tapi sory to say lah wife awk ni pemalas campur pengotor pun ye.
Shida Shamsudin –Wah hebatnya isteri encik. Hmm kita orang perempuan ni kenalah sama sama tolak ansur. Dah dapat suami ringan tulang sama sama lah ringankan beban suami. Dah sama sama cari rezeki, bahagi bahagikan tugas.
Ustazz pun ade cakap dalam rumah tangga kena ada rasa kasih dan cinta. Isteri penat suami tolong isteri, suami wajib buat kerja rumah? Jangan lupa suami berhak minta sorang isteri buat apa yang dirasakan berpatutan dan tak salah disisi agma.
Hendakkan kerukunan rumahtangga dua dua kena main peranan. Tak boleh salah seorang jadi raja dan ego.
Mozainast Ismail –Adik, 5 tahun sudah cukup lama untuk bersabar. Jika masih sanggup bersabar, teruskan tapi memandangkan adik sudah sedar maka wajar dibaiki.
1. Pilih seseorang yang berkecuali untuk menasihati isteri.
2. Rujuk kaunseling keluarga untuk penyelesaian masalah.
3. Rujuk pejabat agma Islam.
Semoga dipermudahkan urusan kamu ye, dik.
Rizwana Bashir –Ya Allah ruginya la isteri awak ni. Tak pandai menghargai langsung. Ramai wanita yang ters3ksa sebab dapat suami pemalas. Cuba hargai diri awak dulu then decide.
Wanita yang sayang suami ni senang je. Bila suami tu baik, dia akan lagi berganda ganda baik dia ke suami. Nampak gaya sorry to say, isteri awak ni a spoilt brat.Seperti kita selalu nasihati wanita lain dalam position awak, love urself first and think about ur worth.
Worth it lagi ke tak buat semua semua tu untuk isteri awak. Ye laki memang banyak tanggungjawab but that doesnt mean isteri dapat free pass masuk syurga suka suka je. Isteri pun ada tanggungjawab dia dalam Islam ni. Dia merungut tu pun berdosa kot. Also bila masa pulak masak maggi guna minyak?
Dah la pemalas lagi nak mintak special maggi bagai. Ketuk kepala tu hah. Mengada sangat kan.
Ryna Zulkifly –Hahahaa. Ok pi la kawin lain since dia bagi green light. Lagi satu duduk agungkan sangat ustaz kan, suruh dia kawin dengan ustazz. Kalau luck baik ustazz boleh ikut perangai dia dan dia sorang jela isteri sampai akhir hayat. Kalau luck tak baik dapat la madu baru. Huhu
Saya doakan yang terbaik untuk tt. Saya pun tak setuju kaum saya jadi ’pemalas’ macamtu. Ni da sampai tahap membuli. Belajar tegas please. Stop buat semua tu untuk bagi pengajaran. Bukan senang nak dapat suami macamni yang tak berkira. All the best.
Kloey Kloey –Ada suami penunggang agma. Ada juga isteri penunggang ustazz. Dua dua ni menunjukkan baik lelaki atau yang perempuan mengalami kesukaran berfikir secara rasional. Lebih pada extr3me. Menunggang agma tanpa paham agma.
Tiada kasih sayang dalam perkahwinan macam ni. Hanya mencari jalan untuk kepentingan diri sendiri. Isteri tuan ni memang malas dari kecil pastu sedap menunggang ustazz. Suami baik macam tuan ni baik carik yg nombor dua saja. Kasi ajar sikit dia tu.
Sufiah Sufiah –Awak ni macam takut bini je. Maaf lah saya ni dah taraf mak mak. Andai anak saya dapat isteri seperti ini, saya akan cakap dekat anak saya baik le hidup sendiri. Isteri tak cantik tak pe janji rajin.
Sebenarnya awak je yang sayang isteri. Tapi isteri tak sayang awak pun. Orang pempuan ni kalau dia sayang suami, mesti dia sangup berkorban jiwa dan raga untuk suami. Jangan jadi d4yus. Dah 5 tahun terlalu lama awak bekorban. Nasehat saya cari lah yang lain. Mungkin ada yang lagi baik untuk awak
Sumber – Suami Belajar (Bukan nama sebenar) via IIUMC.
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