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Aku Umur 24, Suami Duda Umur 42. Beza Umur Kami 18 Thn Dan Dduk Serumah. Bila Msuk Bilik Anak Tiri, Trkjut Aku Tgk Ap Yg Aku Nmpak.

by fairuz
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Salam semua. Nama saya Mimi. Berusia 34 tahun. Ibu kepada seorang cahaya mata yang berusia 6 tahun.

Paragraf 2

Bekerja sebagai Eksekutif Kewangan di sebuah syarikat swasta berpendapatan RM4k++ sebulan dan suami bekerja sebagai penjaga stor (kerja sekarang). Kisah saya bermula ketika saya di semester akhir pengajian Ijazah saya.

Saya mengenali suami yang ketika itu sudah setahun bergelar duda anak 3.. Ketika itu saya berusia 24 tahun, dan suami berusia 42 tahun. Yea.. beza umur kami 18 tahun. Ketika itu suami saya bekerja sebagai supervisor di sebuah kilang.

Diawal perkenalan dengan suami, saya sudah dimaklumkan mengenai statusnya. Suami mempunyai anak berusia perempuan 19 (lelaki), 16 (perempuan) dan bongsu lelaki 9 tahun. Saya juga mengetahui bahwa ketiga tiga anak suami tinggal bersama suami.

Ketika menjalinkan hubungan dengan suami, suami selalu membawa bersama anak anak, yang kedua dan bongsu keluar bersama dengan alasan untuk kami mesra. Alhamdullillah hubungan saya dengan anak anak suami (anak tiri saya sekarang) ok..

Dipendekkan, genap 2 tahun kami bercinta dan saya pun telah bekerja, kami decide untuk berkahwin.

Disaat ingin memperkenalkan suami kepada keluarga saya, banyak juga halangan dan soal jawab dari parent dan adik beradik. Saya tidak salahkan mereka kerana mereka terkejut dengan pilihan saya yang berstatus duda anak 3. Akhirnya keputusan kami untuk berkahwin direstui..

Bermulalah kehidupan saya sebagai seorang isteri dan ibu tiri kepada 3 orang anak.

Sebulan tinggal sebumbung dengan anak tiri, Allahu setiap malam saya berendam airmata.. 4 bulan usia perkahwinan, saya dimaklumkan bahawa kilang tempat suami bekerja akan ditutup.

Dan suami telah direzekikan bekerja sebagai penjaga stor disebuah syarikat percetakan.

Kini dah 7 tahun usia perkahwinan kami. Saya dikurniakan seorang anak yang kini berusia 6 tahun.

Yea saya bekerja. Jam 6.30am saya sudah bergerak ke office. Jam 7pm baru saya sampai dirumah.

Penat tu Allah je tau sebab sebelum kahwin saya menyewa dekat dengan office. Tapi lepas kahwin suami minta saya pindah ke rumahnya di Rawang. Tiap hari saya ulang alik. Tapi demi suami tercinta, saya sanggup berkorban.

Saya bukan merungut.. Tapi sekadar meluah rasa. Anak tiri saya yang walau dah besar dan dah anak dara, mereka tak pernah membantu dari segi kerja rumah.

Jika fikirkan perut saya dan suami saja, bila penat kami boleh je makan kat luar. Tapi mengenangkan 3 lagi mulut yamg perlu disuap, takkan tiap tiap hari makan kat luar. Dengan suami pendapatan RM1500 sebulan, mana mampu untuk itu….

Yea saya tahu menjaga perut suami tanggungjawab isteri. Tapi apa salahnya bila “ibu” masak didapur, si anak tiri yang besar panjang tu datang tolong sekali di dapur. Ini tidak, anak anak hanya datang ke dapur bila semua dah siap terhidang atas meja..

Dan hanya membasuh pinggan yang digunakan sahaja walhal ada peralatan masak diletak sekali di dalan sinki, tapi diletak tepi tanpa tolong membasuh.

Saya sejenis yang malas nak panggil panggil. Anak dah besar panjang, dah ada akal fikiran. Itu baru kisah masak, belum masuk part rumah..

Anak anak tiri saya sejenis yang “tak pandai tengok rumah kemas”. Saya tak tahu nak describe macam mana..

Saya dah terbiasa dengan keadaan rumah yang bersih dan kemas. Tapi bila saya kahwin, saya seolah olah mendapat “kejutan”. Bilik bilik anak tiri saya ya Allah bersepah dan berbau busuk.

Saya pernah minta tolong anak tiri untuk kemas apa yang patut, tolong kat dapur, mereka boleh jawab,

“Mak cakap kemas rumah ni tanggungjawab isteri. Mak cakap masak tu tugas isteri bukan tugas anak”. (mak itu merujuk bekas isteri suami).

Allahu, sejak mereka menjawab macam tu, saya dah tak minta mereka tolong buat kerja rumah.

Mereka hanya tahu makan, tengok movie, game. Saya penat. Penat emosi saya. Kadang saya rasa ni dah macam orang gaji. Penat di office tak hilang, tambah penat dirumah.

Bila saya suarakan kepada suami pasal sikap anak anak dia dan minta dia nasihatkan anak dia, dia hanya cakap,

“Sayang kena main peranan, abang dah malas cakap diaorang dah besar dah reti fikir”..

Boleh dikatakan hubungan kami suami isteri ni ok. Tapi bila bergaduh puncanya 99% kerana anak anak tiri.

Suami seorang ayah yang bertanggugjawab. Walau gaji suami hanya RM1500 sebulan, dia akan agih agihkan duit belanja, duit bas, duit belanja dapur..

Tidak dinafikan saya ada juga membantu dari segi kewangan. Kereta, utiliti, yuran bulan anak saya, semua saya bayar sendiri sebab tak nak bebankan suami.

Apa yang saya geram, bekas isteri seolah olah brainwash anak anaknya. Untuk makluman, anak anak tiri akan ke rumah mak mereka selang 2 minggu sekali. Dan setiap kali balik dari rumah maknya, mesti perangai baru dapat.

Pernah saya suarakan dekat anak tiri bongsu (yang kini form 4) berkenaan duit belanja sekolah tiap kali balik dari rumah maknya, dia cakap maknya tak pernah bagi duit belanja sebab mak cakap bagi belanja sekolah kat anak bukan tanggungjawab mak, tapi tanggungjawab ayah..

Bekas isteri suami 100% serahkan tanggungjawab anak kepada suami saya walau dia tahu gaji suami saya tak seberapa. (bekas isteri suami pernah berkahwin di Thai dan menjadi isteri kedua sebelum dicerraikan selepas 5 bulan berkahwin)

Saya tak pernah menghalang suami menjalankan tanggungjawab kepada anak anak sehingga keperluan anak kandung saya kebanyakannya saya guna duit saya sendiri sebab saya tahu gaji suami saya tak seberapa.

Ekoran macam macam yang saya hadapi, saya pernah suarakan untuk pindah rumah. Tinggal berdua dengan anak kandung saya dan suami tinggal dengan anak anak tiri saya..

Suami izinkan dengan syarat kena bawa anak anak tiri saya sekali. Saya dah explain banyak kali yang saya stress tinggal dengan anak anak tiri. Tapi suami tetap dengan pendirian. Akhirnya saya mengalah dan terus tinggal dengan anak anak tiri..

Untuk pengetahuan, suami pernah berbincang dengan bekas isteri untuk gilir gilir jaga anak mereka. Tapi bekas isteri taknak jaga dengan alasan anak anak tanggungjawab suami dan siap cakap,

“Takkan nak jaga anak baru je..” (ditujukan kepada anak). Ketika perbincangan, saya ada sekali.

Boleh dikatakan hidup saya tak ada privacy.. Berjalan/ bercuti kemana mana mesti bawa anak anak tiri dan segala kos hotel, makan minum semua saya yang tanggung.

Sebab kalau saya tak nak keluar duit, suami tak nak ikut bercuti. Saya nak suami ada dengan saya disaat saya bergembira..

Saya kini dalam proses menunggu kelulusan loan rumah atas nama saya. Mohon semua doakan loan saya lulus dan saya dapat keluar dari rumah ni dengan alasan yang kukuh.

Reaksi warganet

Diha Madihah –

Sebelum kawin lagi dah kena kuat mental sebenarnya. Dengan status bakal husband, lagi lagi anak tiri muda sikit je dari sis dan husband pun mungkin tak sekufu dari segi akademik. Segala macam kemungkinan ada..

Nazliah Manang –

Dah tau duda. Anak anak tinggal sekali. Hurmn degil sangat mau kawin nah. Ini makan dia. Sorry kalau komen tidak berhati perut.

Orang putih cakap, damage is done (eh betul ka saya tulis tu?) jadi kena hadap jugalah…

Puan kena bertegas dengan anak anak tiri. Jangann layan sangat. Dorg tunggu puan balik kerja dan masak baru mau makan? Oh, senang ja, masak macam biasa pastu makan berdua dengan anak 6 tahun tu.

Yang sudah berjanggut tu pandai pandailah makan sendiri termasuk bapak dia sekali. Sorry tt kejam sangat Komen.

Hanis Zaini –

Rasanya pernah baca bapa tiri kawen dengan janda anak 5. Anak tiri semua dimanjakan oleh ibu depa.

Tapi bapa tiri ni punya style gangster. Dia disiplinkan anak anak tiri dia sampai yang sulung dah pndai basuh berak adik dan jaga adik walaupon yang sulung masih sekolah. Lama lama si ibu pon akur pada suami

Puteri Pelangi –

Balik keje puan dah penat, kene masak pula dengan perut kosong. Lepastu anak anak yang dah besar malas ke dapur….

Nasihat saya, puan makan dulu sebelum balik rumah sebab puan perlu energi tambahan. Kalau boleh, ajak suami tu tolong kat dapur. Baru dia tau, penat ke tak. Habis keje opis, sambung keje dapur..

Nanti kalau suami pun rasa letih kat dapur, otomatik dia bebel kat anak dia tuk tolong keje umah. Moga dipermudahkan… Aamiin..

Nurul Afifa Huda Othman –

Okay, damage has been done. Now, puan confessor inginkan penyelesaian. Kalau you keluar rumah tanpa izin, dah jatuh nusyuz..

Bincang la baik baik dengan suami. Kalau you tak pasti nak buat macam mana, jumpa kaunselor perkahwinan atau boleh dapatkan nasihat dari pejabat agama. Cari jalan penyelesaian untuk punca masalah puan iaitu anak anak suami serta suami yang lepas semua tanggungjawab besarkan anak anak dia ke bahu puan..

Nur Amelina Hasan –

Saya doakan loan awak lulus dengan cepat. Nanti bila dah pindah rumah, kalau terpaksa jugak bwak anak tiri, awak tetapkan rules dalam rumah tu.

Kalau diaorang jenis pemalas, halau je mereka tu dari rumah awak. Dan yang paling penting buat persediaan untuk hibah rumah tu kat anak kandung awak..Ye la kita tak tau dimasa akan datang apa akan jadi.

Ditakdirkn awak dan suami jodoh tak panjang, mungkin rumah tu suami awk boleh tuntut dalam harta sepencarian walaupun suami tak bayar 1 sen duit pun dekat atas rumah tu.

Ataupun jika awak dijemput Ilahi dahulu tidak la rumah tu jadi rebutan anak anak tiri yang kurang ajar tu.. Apa apa pun kalau beli rumah hibahkan rumah tu atas nama anak kandung awak. Tak pun nama mak ayah awak.. Mereka je layak..

Izz Imani –

Kalau saya, saya buat macam biasa.

1. Marah, bebel dan beleter macam mak mak lain kalau tak tolong kerja rumah atau tak kemas bilik sendiri. Lama lama kalau anak anak tiri tak tahan, diorg akan ikut juga atau lari Balik rumah mak kandung. Biarkan je, janji niat kita baik.

2. Maaf saya akan kedekut sikit dengan suami sebab saya nak ajar dia supaya tak bergantung dan lepas tangan dengan saya. Takkan semua kita nak tanggung.

3. Sentiasa ingatkan, cakap atau menyanyi lah di tepi telinga anak tiri dan suami awak tu. Bab bab duit ni banyak awak yang tanggung supaya mereka sedar sikit.

4. Awak pun jangan jadi lembut sangat nanti orang pijak Kepala. Suarakan apa yang awak tak puas hati dengan suami dan bekas isteri. Ajar betul betul anak anak tiri supaya hormat kan awak.

Sumber – MIMI SI IBU TIRI (Bukan nama sebenar).

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